Secret Asian Man

Here's the complete list of captions and submitted images for the first SAM comic strip caption contest. Congrats to winner Michael Huang:

“Nice pants and belt combo...”
“Wrangler?”
“Impressive.”
“really?!”
“Oh! That's there where my hair went!”
“It's actually not that common and it doesn't happen to everyone.”
“You should name him Yao Ming.”
“I wonder if he knows how the cold the water is.”
“Slippery little sucker isn't it?”
“Heeeey! Heeeeey!”
“GASP! He shook 3 times!” (Nikki Tablante)
“I guess the Asian stereotype IS wrong!” (Claire-Voe Ocampo)
“Ohhhhhhhh... is that what THAT is for?” (Lily Ko)
“AWWWW YEEEAAHH!” (Cynthia Do & Sophia Fong)
“Where did you get your eyebrows did?” (Cynthia Do & Sophia Fong)
“I guess I should stop now?” (Martin Lenon)
“We're brothers?” (Jess Man)
“Those sneakers are sooo last season” (Jess Man)
“It's okay. It happens to the best of us.” (Jess Man)
“I see you use the two handed technique as well.” (Nick Chin)
“I'm guessing you also use magnums.” (Nick Chin)
“I see the carpet matches the blinds.” (Nick Chin)
“You must be blackanese.” (Nick Chin)
“Long Wu?” (Long Wu)
“Gasp!” (Long Wu)
“How YOU doin?” (Long Wu)
“Watch IT!” (Long Wu)
“So that's your secret.” (Phil Park)
“You must be half black.” (Phil Park)
- Asian American Center, Northeastern University (Boston, MA)

"Now that's what I call a roll of sushi!"
-Evangeline Lew, Princeton, NJ

"Wow, I can see your whole Urinal Cake!"
Sincerely,
-Jerrod Matras

“Damn, He must be Blackinese!!”
“I've been calling him "Cuz" but maybe he is related to me.”
-Kenny Shijo, Palo Alto CA

"God damn...he must be Tak Toyoshima!"
"Ah, he is just a man, like me, and therefore he cannot be the Great God Quetzlcoatl."
"I wonder...if I sleep with him, will he buy me a Vuitton bag?"
"I guess it's true what they say about men with giant eyebrows."
"Dude, blue is so not your color."
"That thing is goin' in my ass tonight!"
-spoogra

"Whoa! Four split-streams?"
-Tone

"Why is 'tiny' over here looking at me as if no one ever told him about our people enormous packages?"
-johnnymoon

"Jon Cho at the Star Trek convention??!!"
-miketsurfer

"Hey, I thought Asian men had small penises. I have a reputation to uphold."
-George "Goody" Takenami

"Sorry bro, I seem to have peed all over your urinal"
-Peter Shieh, Santa fe Springs CA

"Wow, what they say about Asians isn't true at all!"
"Well, I guess racial stereotypes are pretty well founded."
-Victor A. Zamora

"Low expectations. That is the secret."
-Jin Hen Kim, Syracuse NY

"So that's how my wife got crabs!"
-phungj

"I want his shoes . ."
-cyts55

"I guess we're more like 'brothers' than I thought...Oh! I'm caught. Now how do I slowly move my head to the left without making it seem awkward...I got it! *whistle* *whistle* *whistle*"
-Matthew Wong, South San Francisco CA

"Is THAT why his eyebrows are so THICK?"
"Is THAT why his eyebrows are THICKER than mine?"
-Jonathan Yuan, Rowland Heights CA

"I should forward him my spam..."
-Ricky Zhu, Flushing NY

"Maybe I should start eating rice too."
-Mike

"wow, your pee is yellow too!"
-Delia Cheung Hom, Brighton MA

"And I suck at basketball. So that's TWO stereotypes broken."
-ben_sian

"Wow, they use Chop Sticks for everything!"
-HollingsworthM

“That isn’t THAT bad, try hailing a taxi.”
“That’s a nice watch. Oh wait…”
“I guess he’s a grow-er not a show-er”
-Mike Huang

"I found the infamous porn actor "General Wang" who disappeared during the late 70's!"
-wootman

"I think he had the steamed asparagus also."
-Clayton Lee

"daymn crouching tiger! that is one big hidden dragon!"
-Michael Lee, San Ramon, CA

"Nice ring"
"Asian people have yellow urine!"
"It's trimmed like a banzai tree!"
-James Chong

"Wow. Racial stereotypes are waaaay wrong."
-Maggie McDermott, San Francisco, CA

Black guy's thought bubble: "Huh. Maybe I should play the lottery after seeing something like this."
Sam replies out loud: "I know what you're thinking, and I could say the same thing....Pee Wee."
Next frame, they're both rushing to the cashier for a lottery ticket.
-Jerome Coloma

“Model Minority is DEFINITELY a myth!”
-Santanu Rahman, Austin, TX

"Don't look... don't look...! Don't look! Dangit..."
"Dangit... How come he always gets the shinier urinal!"
"Don't make a katana joke... don't make a katana joke... don't make a katana joke!"
"So that's the Secret of the Asian Man..."
-Jenny DeWeese, Chicago, IL

"Poor guy. I thought Whites had it bad."
-wgwag.com

-Benton Jew